19 days!

"As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others." -Desiderata

I feel it's only appropriate for me to start my first entry on this blog with a quote from my very favourite poem/prayer, whatever you want to call it, Desiderata. It was given to me a little over a year ago by my lovely friend Cara, at a point when I needed it. Everytime I read it, a different verse stands out to me, depending on where I'm at in my life.

I should probably explain what this whole blogging/ Intercordia thing is about before I get carried away with sentimental things though. So, as I'm assuming most of you already know, this summer I will be living in Bosnia for three months, where I'll be living and working in a small town that suffered a great deal during the Bosnian War in the early 90's. Since the end of the war, the town has been completely divided; each side having its own post offices, schools, mosques and churches, and neither side(Christian and Muslim) crossing into the other. What I'll be doing is working in a community center that's located on the former cease-fire line, and is considered "neutral" for both sides. I, along with four other Intercordians from across Canada, will be running a kind of summer day camp programme for the children of the town. The center is a way of promoting coexistence between both sides, in hopes that one day there won't be a need for "sides" anymore, and that everyone can become neighbours again, like they were before the war.

Intercordia Canada is a pretty unique NGO. Structured around Jean Vanier's(creater of L'Arche communities) vision, it aims to not send students abroad to "do" anything, but simply to be. To be changed by the experience of living a different culture, not to go change another culture. I'm not going to Bosnia to be an agent of change; not only is that bigger than myself, it's not something I'm interested in doing. This is very much a personal journey for me. I need to experience what life is like in a town that was structurally and emotionally devastated by warfare, in a country that experienced a genocide in my lifetime.

The reasons why I feel such an overwhelming desire to experience this are complicated, but what it comes down to is: I need to be moved by things outside myself. I need for there to be more to my life than material things, school, and money worries. I live a pretty privileged life here in Canada, and I'm not saying I don't appreciate that, because I do. But growing up in an imperialist, ethnocentric society also has it's downfalls. It means that any culture that isn't Canadian is somehow perceived as "less-than", or "other" or that it somehow needs our help to become closer to our own. We're always comparing it to our own, which is a way of reaffirming that we're still on top. Which is a silly, selfish way to live. What I'm hoping to gain this summer is a deep appreciation of a culture that is not my own, and not just in an "oh, I did that", materialistic kind of way. In a way that's authentic; that's marked by people and their stories, their pain, and their joy; and not by pictures in an album on Facebook.

I'm hoping that all makes sense and didn't come off as ungrateful. I am so so so lucky to have the life I have, but I know that this summer will help me appreciate it so much more. I guess I really need people(re: my family) to understand that this is a personal thing I need to do as a human being. It's not about leaving everyone I love for three months and peacing out to Eastern Europe, it's about learning about myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, and all that, but through other people. And through moments of profound loneliness, frustration and maybe even anger. I'm not expecting this to be easy, learning never is. Learning hurts, but it's incredible when it happens.

So, I'm starting this blog as a way to keep in touch with family and friends, and let them know what I'm up to while I'm away. And also as a way for me to map out my summer, and make sense of it as it's happening. I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have when I'm there, but I'll try my best to keep this as updated as possible!