This morning I realized I'm about halfway through my placement, there are about 7 weeks remaining. I don't understand where the time has gone, and realizing that the next month is going to go by so quickly has me feeling a little sad. I'm not ready to even begin thinking about going back to Canada, and I know that it will be incredibly difficult for me to leave G-V U when the time comes.
Last night I spent a cosy and snuggly night wight with my family, after travelling in Croatia for a few days. I layed outside on the balcony under a blanket with Erna and Franjo, looking up at the stars, and felt more peaceful than I think I've ever felt. I learned a lot of things in my short trip to Croatia, but most of all I realized how much I love my family, and that I have a home in Bosnia. I told Erna that it doesn't feel like I'm in Bosnia anymore, it just feels like I'm at home, and I belong there. It's just a really good feeling, and not one that I was expecting to have here. But I am so grateful that I do.
While I was in Dubrovnik, I visited a war photo exhibit called 'Blood and Honey', which documents the collapse of Yugoslavia, and especially the war in Bosnia.(http://www.warphotoltd.com/?section=museum&page=2&item=2&exhibition=1) This was a huge learning moment for me, not because I learned a lot about the war or anything, but because I was surrounded by images of the war that my family experienced. The images on their own are disturbing, and probably upsetting for some people to see, but knowing some of my own host family's experience, and especially living in this beautiful country with these incredibly resilient and beautiful people just really shook something inside of me. I can't articulate it anymore than that right now, but I knew that for whatever reason, seeing this exhibit was a little bit of a turning point for me.
Aside from that, I've been struggling with personal things a little bit lately. I know that this is supposed to be part of the process, and what Intercordia hopes will happen, but it's very hard and lonely trying to deal with things without all my usual supports in Canada. We start programming(finally!) next week, so I'm sure I will get back on my feet then and be rejuvanated by working with the kids.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Being without doing
So, mostly at the request of my mother( "Why don't you update your blog as much as the other Intercordians?") I'm going to write a little about what I've been doing in the past five weeks(yes, it really has already been 5 weeks!)
As some people know already, due to unforseen circumstances we've not begun our summer activities with the children yet. On the one hand, there was a lot of flooding this year that pushed the school year back, so we can't do anything until the kids are out of school. The Centar is also running an after school programme in the afternoons, called "Today's Children, Tomorrow's Parents" for children who are considered high-risk. This can mean a lot of things, and I'm not sure what the criteria is for this particular programme, but it can include children from violent homes, who have alcoholic parents, who live in poverty, or are in some other way disadvantaged. Anyway, because of this programme, and I think some possible issues that happened in previous years, we're not allowed to do anything on our own until July. We're all(the Canadian volunteers) finding this pretty difficult, for a variety of reasons.
On my part, I'm really having a hard time adjusting to the pace of life here, and the monotony of it. Not having anything "to do" is kind of messing with the way I identify myself, as a person who can be lazy sometimes, but also enjoys working towards something everyday. Not having anything to work towards makes me feel a little useless and has me questioning what exactly I'm doing here. Ironicaly, this whole "being, not doing" thing is exactly in line with what Intercordia envisions this whole process to be.
Although it's a little disappointing to not be able to do what I thought I'd be doing yet, I have been learning a lot and enjoying my eyperience in a lot of other ways. My host family is really the best part of this summer for me, and going into this I wasn't expecting this to be the case. I felt like a part of the family almost immediately, and that helped a lot with the initial homesickness. I love them so much!
I spend most of my evenings walking (in my Mom sandals, Kate and Kara!) with the other intercordians, or sitting at a cafe drinking čaj, or having water balloon fights with my little brother.
So, although I am anxious to get started with activities, I am definitely soaking in the culture, the language and THE FOOD(my clothes are all too tight already) in lots of different ways. And loving every minute of it! I'm off to Croatia this weekend for a little bit of a vacation, so I'll update about that when I get back next week.
As some people know already, due to unforseen circumstances we've not begun our summer activities with the children yet. On the one hand, there was a lot of flooding this year that pushed the school year back, so we can't do anything until the kids are out of school. The Centar is also running an after school programme in the afternoons, called "Today's Children, Tomorrow's Parents" for children who are considered high-risk. This can mean a lot of things, and I'm not sure what the criteria is for this particular programme, but it can include children from violent homes, who have alcoholic parents, who live in poverty, or are in some other way disadvantaged. Anyway, because of this programme, and I think some possible issues that happened in previous years, we're not allowed to do anything on our own until July. We're all(the Canadian volunteers) finding this pretty difficult, for a variety of reasons.
On my part, I'm really having a hard time adjusting to the pace of life here, and the monotony of it. Not having anything "to do" is kind of messing with the way I identify myself, as a person who can be lazy sometimes, but also enjoys working towards something everyday. Not having anything to work towards makes me feel a little useless and has me questioning what exactly I'm doing here. Ironicaly, this whole "being, not doing" thing is exactly in line with what Intercordia envisions this whole process to be.
Although it's a little disappointing to not be able to do what I thought I'd be doing yet, I have been learning a lot and enjoying my eyperience in a lot of other ways. My host family is really the best part of this summer for me, and going into this I wasn't expecting this to be the case. I felt like a part of the family almost immediately, and that helped a lot with the initial homesickness. I love them so much!
I spend most of my evenings walking (in my Mom sandals, Kate and Kara!) with the other intercordians, or sitting at a cafe drinking čaj, or having water balloon fights with my little brother.
So, although I am anxious to get started with activities, I am definitely soaking in the culture, the language and THE FOOD(my clothes are all too tight already) in lots of different ways. And loving every minute of it! I'm off to Croatia this weekend for a little bit of a vacation, so I'll update about that when I get back next week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)